A changed world - 2020

It’s certainly been a while. I’m not sure what draws someone back to the keyboard to write a blog to no one in particular, but nonetheless here i find myself, tapping away in the back garden watching the dogs try to find one last morsel to eat in the garden, looking for inspiration. Although, 2020 isn’t a year that needs much inspiration for writing. To say there has been a few “goings on” would be somewhat understating the fact. They say that great art comes from great hardship. I will try to dispel that myth in the next few paragraphs.

First we had The Virus. The type of thing Hollywood has been writing scripts about for decades, professing to depict the end of the human race only to find a cure at the last act. Well, the end of humanity isn’t near and there’s no miracle cure in sight, but there certainly is a virus in our midst. Known as Covid-19, it has shaken the world in a way that leaves no hiding place under the bed to escape from it. It doesn’t seem to care who you are. Young or old. Black or white. However, the biases in our system seem to be highlighted. The prophetic news outlets will claim that African Americans are more vulnerable, or that children could be next. We are now 6 months in to our new way of life. Covered faces. 6ft apart. No handshakes or embraces. It seems that the virus targets vulnerable people, already experiencing other issues. However, the saddest statistic of all is that the virus seems to highlight socioeconomic hardship, particularly in the US, where the richer you are the more chances you have of surviving. Poorer sections of the population, without the healthcare coverage or the confidence in the system to protect them, seem to be suffering the most. There are those that will point out New York City as dispelling this hyperbole. However, put that city’s stats under the microscope and you’ll find that the poorest boroughs are suffering the most. I’m not a professor, doctor or any kind of specialist. I fly a plane. It is still clear to me that once again we are conveniently escaping the harsh reality of the system in the US. The wealthy and mainly white middle class, of which I would likely be classed as a member, are getting away with it, for the most part, and the financially poorer of those in our society are suffering simply because of their status. 

Well, I hear you mutter, what are you going to do about it?? I don’t know yet. I don’t know what I can do yet. I don’t know what my first step will be yet. I am writing this out to help with that. Perhaps I will get the virus and get to see firsthand how some benefit from status and some don’t. Without that experience, I can tell you for sure. I can only provide conjecture.

Now on to the other virus. Racism in the world. I live in Minneapolis, the epicenter of what will likely become known as some form of revolution of 2020. A human revolution, or even, evolution. 

Two weeks ago George Floyd was murdered by a policeman, not 3 miles from where I am sitting now. The policeman stood, or knelt, on his neck for 8mins and 35seconds. He cried out for him to stop. He didn’t. What followed was 7 days of civil unrest that we haven’t seen since the 1960’s (a time I wasn’t even alive). It spread far across the country. Particular damage was done in Minneapolis, where citizens rioted for many nights in a row. Property was damaged. Lives were lost.

Then the world began to awaken. At least, I hope it has. We are only a couple of weeks in to this new new world. People like myself, middle class and white, are asking ourselves some very uncomfortable questions. It took me a number of days to come to terms with what my role was in all of this. Sure, I could exclaim the standard rhetoric, but anyone can read a meme and share it, without believing in it. I was very uncomfortable and uneasy with where I sat and how I was reacting. However, I found myself fatigue ridden with the awkward and uncomfortable feelings I was experiencing. I was only dealing with this for a week! African American and other minorities have been dealing with this fatigue for centuries! And here I am whining about dealing with it for a week. 

I’m still not convinced about which lane I will ride it on my journey to helping society to fix the broken system we clearly live in. I know that voting this year will be of upmost importance. Probably the most significant vote in my lifetime. I am decided that I will act accordingly and ensure others have the information they need to act similarly. Your biggest power comes from your vote, from the most local of elections to the highest of offices.

It’s easy to talk a good game. I need to put that in to practice. Writing about it might be the way to hold myself accountable. I don’t know yet, but I’m ready to find out.

Good luck to us all!

P.s. I don’t proof read these things, or reread what I’ve written. It is as it comes out of the keyboard. Forgive it all or don’t. It’s up to you.

No more Marseillaise

Writing can tend to come in fits and starts. It’s definitely therapeutic but first the one on the receiving end has to be ready to receive. Hence why there hasn’t been an entry all year. 

It’s been the year of speed and suffering. There won’t be any race reporting or details in this post. Simply a constant flow of mental regurgitation on the minimalist thoughts that bloomed from this years work. 

This year has been a progressive step backwards towards achieving the goal of gaining speed over the shorter and middle distances. At least that what you tell yourself, when in actuality, it was suggested to you that it would be in your better interests not to do an Ironman this year...or else....he says nervously. 

There is a level of joy to be found in returning to the distances that started it all. Much like finding some old favourites in the attic after times long by. A sense of familiarity that brings an ease and sense of relaxation to the affair. With that relaxing affect comes a mental ease that frees the mind up to travel faster and quicker and stronger. 

The speed on the bike and the ability to translate that to a subsequent run leg has been the most notable change. It seems to be an air of confidence when riding that has been the change. Perhaps it has always been there, lurking in the shadows of the mind, but being crowded out by a business of concerns that are unhelpful to racing. 

There were a few times when exiting the water in to T1 when there were almost all the bikes remaining and the rubber hit the pothole ridden roads only to not have the familiar sounds of a whizzing disc wheel approaching from behind. It was an entirely addicting feeling, realizing that there was certainly potential in the old legs yet. The Marseillaise wasn’t even heard once! 

What has shown to be a true, thanks to consistent and reliable coaching from the boss man, is the reliable running legs coming true each time. The harder biking has certainly drawn questions when leaving T2 with grand designs of gliding across the hard top, gracefully passing my competitors. At least that’s what happens in my mind. Yet, after a mile or so of wobbly legs and wonder as to whether the old trotters would come good, slowly and assuredly the turn over would increase and the speed would return. The American Triple T was the first sign that the strength I never thought I had was there. A small peaking from behind the trees to let me know it was there. Subsequent races illuminated the strength in the shadows, breaking the Olympic personal best and coming within a few minutes of the half Ironman PB (on a far more difficult course compared to the flat as pancake race the PB was set in). 

This all has now provided the confidence needed to chase a full distance race in 2019 at the glorious venue that is Roth. An epic triathlon event that is sure not to disappoint. 

The legs are still there for a little bit longer this season, with an eye on the late season race, as the leaves slowly begin to turn their stunning spectrum of colours, indicating that the time of year has arrived when rest and relaxation is required. This R&R will give way to the winter block that will lay down the foundations for 2019’s challenges. To be honest, I can’t wait. 

Good luck to us all!

Getting away with it

It has been a while since last writing my thoughts in to the digital diary which, lets be honest, this effectively is. Since October, the snow has come and is still coming, Donald Trump hasn't yet been impeached, Putin is still secretly plotting to annihilate everyone, Facebook has stolen all our data and Harvey Weinstein is still a perv.

What has also occurred, but with far less fanfare and importance, is training for the London Marathon and forthcoming triathlon season. As has been mentioned before on this blog, the winter training brings the chance of reflection. The long indoor sessions, cowering from Winter's chill, leaves a lot of time to reflect on the ripples that life's pond presents to us. This winter has been no different.

There is plenty of mindless sweating and exertion that happens as the peddles spin and the music blares. Yet, it is particularly during the ever lengthening runs that reflection is strongest. As fatigue naturally sets in during the later stages of a particularly long run, the mind will wonder on a every winding path to nowhere and everywhere.

One particular theme that is on the reoccurring track that seems to play on endless repeat in my ears is the theme of appreciation. Admittedly, no coincidence that this is currently the theme of my guided meditation. However, there is an element that plays out in the behind the scenes footage of my mind. The Avett Borthers have a beautifully, poignant song on their current album called "No hard feelings". It's playing in my ears as I type. The song's lyrics resonate well in a life that has been somewhat jostled in the last few years. It explores many themes, but appreciation is one that rests within me the most.

It's not the "oh, I so appreciate my where I find myself today", or, "I really appreciate that" type of saying. Yet, it's more of a getting away with it appreciated. It's like a walk through a jungle full of hazards and waiting for something to strike you down, but forever dodging each proverbial bullet. There was indeed one massive strike in that jungle 3 years ago when my father died way too early. There's no doubt that it left an indelible mark in my ledger. However, with that exception, it feels like this life that has been presented is one of "getting away with it". I have been put in a position of security and safety, somehow, and it seems like I'm just getting away with it. This particularly popped up on to the film screen of life last night whilst playing indoor footie. My body has been letting me get away with plenty for the last few decades. Last night however, it was the first time I wondered to myself whether my ankles would have many more games in the tank. That is a fucking depressing thought to have.

There are many more miles left in the straight and narrow, singular approach that triathlon and long distance is. Yet, the side to side and gyrating side of sport may not be long in to my future. This is what brings that thought of getting away with it to the forefront of my mind. Meditation currently asks the question "what is it that you truly appreciate in life"? However, this reflection shows ripples that ask the other form of that question: what have I gotten away with for so long? People will argue you that this is indeed a odd form of appreciation, which is a fair point. However, the approach can be slightly different.

In two weeks, I'm sure I will have plenty of time to reflect further on this question bouncing around in my mind as I run the London Marathon. I can not wait for the experience. It is sure to be one like nothing ever experienced. Hopefully, the body will hold true and the ankles stay strong for the long run around London. Crossing that finish line will signal that the season is well and truly underway and the only thing standing between me and a long season of racing is work. The schedule is attempting to race 4 half IM distance races in 6 weeks, which, quite frankly, was a mistake at the time but is now a "fun" challenge. It shall be a lesson is recovery and intelligent training and racing. We shall see if I possess either. This endurance lark is a trip in to the unknown. I don't feel the need to see if i can go further, but whether we can reshuffle and reinvent how the endurance is tested. Some would argue it is a form of therapy. It's easy to see their reasoning, but if it works, it's probably the most expensive therapy in history and insurance isn't covering this one.

The London race report should be the next to follow. If my mind during the long runs is anything to go by, there is sure to be some mental stories to tell, along with the external ones.

Good luck to us all!

 (I don't proof this shite. So all the mistakes are unintentional and pure written diarrhea)

London Beckons

Kona Ironman World Champs was last week. I don't have any desires to go out there or even qualify, in particular. Offer me a spot I doubt I would say no, however, I lack the desire to put the extreme effort in to set a qualifying time and then pay the exorbitant fees to get there.

That said, one of the flames that begins to burn in the pit of my stomach ignites when the pre-race coverage begins, listening and watching the race and it's interviews of all those involved. It is enjoyable! It lights up that flame and throws my eyes towards next years calendar and starts my mind running through dates and potential races.

It is exciting. Planning out the season and envisioning the thrill that is gained from being in a race. The training is just collateral damage resulting from that desire. There are many who will play it cool and act the hard man or woman in the transition area, but make no mistake that we all love the thrill of the race and the desire to match ourselves against others to see who can go the fastest. Fortunately, by being in the middle of the pack, half the field is eliminated from that race which makes it so much easier. Ha!

To be honest, post ironman this year, my desire to race was naturally waning. Even though the ideal race at that distance had peaked it's head above the horizon, like the sun cresting at dawn, which had indeed emboldened my desire to go faster at the distance,  my eyes weren't searching for the next iron distance race. In all honesty, there was a lack of direction at all. Then an email hit my inbox that livened things up a bit.

Two things happened at the beginning of October. In that first week back from vacation, we raced at 10 mile race that was a smash and garb of a race. One and a quarter hours later and it's all over, back in time for coffee and cake. A run that you can just leave it all out there and know you won't do too much damage. Sadly Napoleon did his usual 2 minutes faster that me ;)

The next thing to happen the Monday after as I looked through tired eyes at emails, was one entitled London Marathon. It had, in fact, slipped my mind that the ballot was even approaching, but this year it would appear success awaited. A scanned picture of the front of the "YOU'RE IN" magazine was attached to the email from my mum and suddenly that flame exploded in to a bonfire. I would get the chance to race one of the most famous marathons of all. What a treat!

The brain immediately started in to over drive and the desire to race came rushing back like a flash flood flowing down an Arizona washout - and to race faster at that.

Our coach is a firm believer in spending October taking it easy and dropping down all the volume in the world. To get the athletes under his charge to begin to chomp at the bit like horses awaiting the starting gates to open. And it works. The team members and, if I'm honest, myself included are checking to see when the November schedules will be loaded so we can begin to start chipping away at that fitness iceberg to set ourselves back up for the next season. It's somewhat ironic though, as we all swear, sweat and suffer during those winter months spent in the dark basements on the trainer or out in the freezing cold pounding the ice-ridden pavements, or spending an eternity getting in to the seemingly frozen over pools. Yet there is no denying that in some twisted way, we all love it. No matter what someone tells you, they love it, otherwise they wouldn't do it. Simple really.

Okay, I'm off to stare at the calendar a little more and enter some races.

Good luck to us all!

Ironman Coeur D'Alene Race Report

Ironman Coeur D'Alene race report: an unexpected and welcome surprise.
Despite all the hype about ironman CDA's weather, we have done this twice now and each time it has been 108F and 95F temp with abundant sunshine.
The swim started early this year at 6am, so we were up and at them by 4am. I slept surprisingly well and have worked hard on pre-race and race day chimp brain for the last 6 months and it seems to have paid off.
Got in the water to the promise of no wind, thus no chop. Complete tosh. Despite no wind, there was plenty of chop. Fortunately, the swim is my stronger discipline and it doesn't bother me. It is the clearest of lakes (30ft vis at least) and with a temp of 70F at beachside, the swim was brilliant for me. Came out in 1hr 07min which is slower than I would have ideally liked, but for the effort, quite pleased.

My least favourite part: The Bike. With 1,553m of climbing, this course is a challenge. Long climbs, but equally long descents and with some good enough areas to time trial, does make it a fun course. However, my chimp brain hates the long bike and convinces itself that death will be imminent and why oh why would anyone want to bike this long. 3/4s of the way round I had a sobering experience. No more than a few hundred yards ahead me, at the bottom of the descent, another racer of cleaned out by a car. Bike and him, sadly thrown high in to the air. As we all hit the brakes, I was thankful to see him awake, despite in pain, and I hear he is okay. However, with that experience, I quickly righted the brain shipwreck and got a hold of myself. Gave myself a proverbial slap in the face and started to bike. I would have liked to come in under 7hrs, but knocking off 45mins from the last time I biked this course, I was amazed to see 7hr04mins on the clock. However, as I entered transition, I wondered whether a run was even possible.

With the promise of no more biking and some great race support, the legs began to move and move they did. The run is 3 loops and reasonably flat, with some rolling. The town really embraces this race and every corner provides an opportunity to cool down. My nutrition was being absorbed well. They say never trust a fart in an ironman. Well, I did and was fortunate ;). Upon the realization that hammer was not going to work today, I switched to my emergency gels which did the trick. Combined with coke and normal on course food, the energy levels were kept up.

I awaited the bonk that never came and then outbound on the final lap my wonderful wife stated "I would need to burn some matches to take it under 13". I couldn't imagine what she was talking about, as I felt that was long since forgotten. (I wasn't looking at my watch, that much). Then Vincent mumbled something to me when I stopped to chat and with him sending me off running, I thought "hmmm".

As the wheels hadn't fallen off for some reason, I pushed on, raising the pace, when I heard someone shout out the time to another racer. 6:37pm. I thought he must be wrong, but he wasn't. That was all I needed to really grab the last 3 miles by the scruff of the neck. I ended up running the last 10k faster than my first and was elated to cross the line in 12:48. To be this is perspective for coach Rob's fine efforts with us, my previous best finish was 13hr55. The last time I ran this course, my finish was 14hr34. That's a 1hr 45min improvement. Massive!

I learned that biking well, so that you can run even better is the key. I learned that I am still not mentally there for biking, but can now see that I can bike better than I think I can. I learned that I really can run off the bike, despite my self doubt. Additionally, I learned that you should never promise to not do an ironman again during the bike leg :)

This was an amazing experience for me personally and there was plenty of emotion across the finish line. I am still in disbelief today. Thank you to the group and coach for such great support. I better start to work on convincing my wife to do another.

Good luck to us all

 ALL PHOTOS CREDIT TO MITCH BOWERS OF IMAGEWERX PHOTOGRAPHY

Overtraining and tapering

It is this time of year when iron distance triathletes come to love and hate. We love the idea that tapering is just around the corner, but we come to loathe the final push in the training.

Blog

The body is tired. The mind is fatigued. Yet, there is huge motivation at the knowledge that the end is but a few weeks away. The threat is to be so motivated that you ignore your body calling out for a change in the schedule or a reduction in the load. 

Many will argue that at this point you are fit enough to race the longest day and that it really doesn't matter what you do, no amount of physical fitness can be gained. There is an element of psychological fitness yet to be achieved, whether it's from the strength that it takes to walk away from a session when you know your body isn't ready for it, or from the power of knowing you can finish a long swim without a wetsuit to guide you. Whichever the case, there are still goals to be achieved and training session to be accomplished. 

Admittedly, racing a half iron distance race 4 weeks from Ironman was not ideal. It required and continues to require a smart and thoughtful approach as to how you recover and train immediately following the race. It was always unlikely that I possessed the self restraint to dial the run intensity back during the 3rd leg of Sunday's race. Perhaps a little naive of me to think I would. The race went very well and a significant improvement on a personal best was achieved. However, now 8 days post race, it is apparent that there was a price to be paid. Having awoken to high fatigue after good nights sleep 2 days in a row, it became very apparent that time off of training was what the doctor was ordering. Stepping away was the right move and enjoying a trip with my wife was the right medicine. A long run was on the menu for yesterday and was completed. However, it became quite apparent that the legs still had a way to go to achieve full race recovery. The second half of the run felt like the second half of the Ironman marathon. That said, a lot was accomplished during this tough effort. I learned that despite tired muscles, I could still maintain pace and be consistent, which is a key element to a good iron distance run. Simply put, it's who slows down the least. The mental boost I received from yesterday, I believe, will far outweigh the cost of extra recovery today. With my trusty lovely lady biking beside me, it was the toughest of runs, with the most satisfying results. 

The next few days sees a bit of adjustment needed. Volume needs to be dialed down to a recovery level, with a new order of a 3 week taper towards Ironman CDA. This is the 2nd best part of iron distance training (1st one is the finishing line). Knowing that short 3 or 2 hr rides are merely a week away is enough to drag any overstrained triathlete out of the mire. It's the most fun we will have since last December! Can't wait. 

The next week will also be spent figuring out the enjoyable parts of race week. Lodging, BBQs, socializing and enjoyment. 

I just can't wait to arrive and absorb all the fun energy that surrounds race week. I used to fear it. Now, it's time to embrace it. The first few times you get the emails with the athlete guide, within which is the course info, a sudden surge is felt within you as the realization kicks in that soon you will be out there on that imaginary red line, racing the longest day. 

Here's a link to that imaginary line. 

Ironman Coeur d'Alene Map

https://goo.gl/maps/zZccMA2WrL72

And here's a fun finishing pic. Look at that time!

Good luck to us all!

Chisago Toughman - Half distance

There are those that are close to me that happily argue that this kind of effort always existed, but the chimp brain that controlled the output of effort had such a strangle hold on the willingness for muscle output that a performance was always left wanting. Well, professor brain had boss rights yesterday!

This was not a winning performance as far as awards go, but it was winning brain award, in the fight between chimp brain and professor brain. It's been a struggle heavily dominated by the rampant chimp that bounces out of control in my mind during races. If you could project my race mind, I suspect the audience would feel like they are watching a steroidle version of Gravity in 3-D and end up vomiting all over the theatre. No a good ending. Although Mr Chimp brain was still very much loose and out and about bouncing from one proverbial branch to another, the professor brain very much had a leash around the chimps neck, keeping him in check. This allowed my professor to dictate the day and control my effort outputs. Now, this may sound like a controlling of the reigning it in sense, however, it is quite the opposite. Imagine the chimp being the dog walker and having a unlimited roll out leash and the dog (being my brain) being allowed to run wild all over the place, as far as the leash would allow. Professor brain has a very short leash and keeps my mind on track, with a focus on what needs to be done in order to achieve a result. A huge step towards that result occurred yesterday when professor brain and I stepped somewhat in sync and knocked 20mins off of my previous best time (achieved only 6 months ago) for the half distance, coming quite close to breaking the 5hr30min barrier.

Chisago Toughman bike course definitely lends itself to some fast biking and racing, but that's why we do it. To go fast breads the confidence and foundation for the professor to be boss come race day. The swim was so warm that wetsuits weren't allowed (for those wanting their time to count) which led t a somewhat slow swim for me, but considering I swam the same time in Ohio with a wetsuit, I can't complain too much. To be honest, even in my skin suit it was very warm in there and I felt my effort was about right for the day.





Once we hit the bike, despite a techy balls up, I had a feeling that the bike would be fast. Note to self: do not hit the lap button on a triathlon watch. It will sequence to the next discipline and not show you what you want. As a result, I had the very freeing feeling of not knowing exactly where I was in the race and had to rely on the course signage. As I sped along, the mileage cones seemed to be flying by. "Surely they must have mismeasured", was the thoughts repeating in my mind. However, my watch seemed to agree and thanks to some beautiful roads and very light winds, I managed to fly (well for me anyway) around the course with an average close to 19mph and finish under 3hrs, which, I would have said before hand, would have crushed me. However I felt fantastic. Having paced the course from bestbikesplit.com prior to the race, I thought the site was broken, because it suggested I would finished in 2:48 at a power output of 80% the whole way. Well, I put out 75% and finished just adrift of that. Now, I'm an athlete who loves and breeds confidence from numbers, so this was indeed the boost I needed. Wow, what a great feeling it is today!

Getting off the bike, I was so convinced I would pay for my efforts that I ran out of T2 without my race number. A mistake that I have never made in all my years of racing! Oops. Other organizers would have sent me packing, but no these fine and relaxed race organizers from Wisconsin. Phew.

I hit the run taking the usual first mile to let the heart settle down from the excitement of T2 and settle in to my stride. Following the suggested pacing plan from the coach, I took it as a 9:30min run and 30sec walk for the first 10K and then kicked the shackles off and went for it. Simultaneously, I spotted Victory up ahead, figuratively and literally, allowing the increase in pace to come easily. The temps were beginning to climb out on the not-so-shaded , with ice from aid stations providing the relief that was needed. The proof is in the pudding - the first 10K took 1hr. The second took 54mins! A negative split for the first time. A result of some great coaching and some good work from professor brain!

As you may be able to notice, I'm pretty happy with the effort. The body isn't too bad today at all, which means there is plenty left in the locker for 4 weeks from now. It was a huge confidence boost for the ironman and I am now really beginning to look forward to our fifth visit to the longest day!

Good luck to us all!