Last time I posted on this blog was over a year ago. The world has changed quite a bit in that time, so say the least. Some things remain the same. Subway is still awful and not fresh. Minneapolis is still cold. Maggie is still my best pacing partner and Mexico City is still entirely over polluted. Random facts instead of fake news.
I haven't written a lot simply because I would argue that I had lost the way in triathlon training. Yes indeed the training was plentiful, non-stop and somewhat enjoyable. However, the end goal had become somewhat blurred by the mental side of the game.
2016 was a year of falling back in love with endurance racing and remembering why I started this in the first place. There were personal records set at the Half IM distance and marathon distance. I'm not about to enter any elite divisions by a long stretch of the imagination, but I was very pleased with what I perceived to by some fast racing. I remembered how to hurt and not just calculate and manage. Admittedly, I achieved this at distances I knew could be conquered, having accomplished each many times.
The psyche I am in possession of is one that becomes conflicted at iron distance races. I am greatly disappointed by a result that I knew I could have achieved more with. The competitive side will always give me a push along, but then the careful and calculated side of me bullies it's way in and puts a stop to all this nonsense. I can honestly say that I don't mind losing at any given sport, so long as I know that I have given everything that there was to give in that time period. That happened during my first iron man. I was truly spent, not to mention very burnt. I can also say that of my second race. A depressing testament to how I know this is that when completely knackered I lose the ability to control my emotions and often fight back tears as I cross the line. That hasn't been the case during the last two races - Boulder and Couer D'alene. I looked at the clock and thought that the mental had won the day, despite the conditions we raced in. It's time to let go.
A once wise Frenchman lent me a few books over the most recent winter period in a bid to help me finally beat him in a race that he actually finished :). They have begun to allow the first small steps to be taken to allow myself to discover what it takes inside myself to achieve what I know my body has the potential to do. "But this is only triathlon!" I hear you exclaim. Yes, this superficial fact is indeed true. However, this sport and the lengths that it pushes you to, irregardless of the length of the race, allows the self to continually improve and you will take these lessons out with you in to the world outside of sport. Mentally, this will make me stronger and wiser in every day life. Displaying as a reflection of the potential that you are willing to achieve. Your mind will always stop you before the body does. Always. It protects and sometimes not for the betterment of the person within. Just like the body, however, we can train it to be leaner and stronger when we most need it. That's the goal for this season.
Having taken on a coach within a group called Team Oxygen Addict based in the UK and having begun to explore what lies within the deep confines of the psyche, I truly hope that this season will be one that I look back on with pride knowing that I truly gave it all, mentally speaking.
Good luck to us all!
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